What’s most important

Something happened last week with a friend of mine, and I can’t go into details about it but it has me thinking. Sometimes I don’t stop and think about what’s important in my life and how lucky I am to have the people I have and the love and support they provide me. My friend is going through a really hard time right now and it just made me thankful for her and all of my other friends I have made here at school and my best friends at home who I love so so much. The reality that everyone has their own struggles and battles they fight every day hit me hard in the last few days and I am just trying to take time to stop and think about all of the things that I have to live for and all of the people that are here to support me and love me no matter what steps or missteps I take in life. I challenge everyone to do the same over the next few days and I hope it’ll really put things into perspective for you like it did for me. Remember…. you’re beautiful and this life is beautiful. XOXO.

Senior year: week 3

This week is going to be my third week of my senior year and all I can say is so far, so good.Last year I had some roommate drama and ended up moving out of my previous house and into this new one with two girls I am on dance team with. So far I can already tell that I am much happier than I was last year combined and senior year is off to a good start. This weekend we had a football game against our “cross town rival” school and we actually won, to everyone’s surprise so I was excited. Saturday there was a senior BBQ so we stopped by for some free food and a mini golf course. We’ve obviously been drinking a lot… because hello! it’s senior year! I already have some random creeper stories of guys hitting on me in the weirdest ways you can possibly think of.. and my guy friends have a friend who has a random fascination/ crush on me. Dance team and my work study start this week and I am excited and nervous to get back into the swing of actually being busy throughout the year. I just wanted to share because I would like to keep my blog updated this year, and also because compared to last year, I am much happier and am enjoying being here instead of being home every weekend wasting my year away. I’m going to add some pictures from this year so far, even though most of them are “wall of shame” worthy… which is actually going to be going up in our house soon! I’m really excited to see what this year has in store and so far it’s up their in the top rankings as best year yet.

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Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS

So I’m sure a lot of you have heard of the Ice Bucket challenge to raise money and awareness for ALS, but if not you can watch the video here. I got challenged last night by a friend from school and made a video tonight (because I hadn’t been on facebook until today). I would like to share the video with you guys and hopefully I can help raise awareness through my small foundation of readers. I have also chosen to donate along with the ice bucket challenge and I have a link to the ALS Association so you can donate too if you’re up for the challenge!

 

see my video here!

and you can donate to ALS right here :)

Senior year bucket list

So considering I’m starting my senior year in college in just a few weeks (omg!) I’m going to start a bucket list for my final hoorah before entering the real world and continue to add. Some of my posts will probably be about the things I’m doing at school for those of you (few) readers who care and read.. haha. But anyways…

Big E

Apple/ Pumpkin picking

Throw/attend a Halloween party

carve pumpkins

Have a “family dinner”

host a dance team party/ sleepover

Dance at a basketball game

Go to a hockey game

eat healthier

breast cancer walk/ fund raiser

drive-in movies

hiking

have a snow ball fight

take a picture in front of Paddy’s (my college bar)

fill up the wall of shame

drunk bowling

take a “family” photo

ugly sweater party

secret santa

Bachelorette finale reactions!

x    So we finally made it to the end of Andi’s journey last night as it was down to her final two in the Dominican Republic and single girls everywhere were routing for #TeamJosh! As a member of team Josh, I had my mouth open for about an hour and a half straight just waiting to see who would get the boot. When Andi had her two dates, it was clear that something had clicked with Josh in the last few weeks since he told her that he loved her and it was something that I did not personally hate. I think the connection between the two of them is just sexy and fun and I was so excited to see that date. Nick’s date on the other hand, I think I got up to pee and get snacks and probably tweet about how much I love Josh because he just creeps me out.

    Obviously I had a reason to be sketched by him because his stalking continued after Andi sent him home and she did not want to see him until absolutely necessary. No doubt in my mind, Andi predicted what Nick’s reaction was going to be to being sent home before proposals and being denied the marriage he was basically already dressed for. During the Final Rose special he called her out on the two of them sleeping together (ick Andi!) and was not a gentlemen about it at all, unlike Mr. Farmer Chris who went home with total dignity, grace, and remained polite to Andi even while she was putting him in the car to leave. When she knocked on Nick’s door, I honestly thought she was going to say that she needed to see him because it had been so long and that she missed him because he was a front runner the entire season and I almost would have put money on her picking Nick. Surprisingly, and happily, however… after a cute speech by Josh and what I thought was going to be another break up from Andi, she confessed her love for him and he planted that gorgeous ring on her finger. I can see them being a real couple (and sneaking over to each other’s houses before the finale aired) and being happily in love for years and years, and I wish Ms. Andi the best because she’s a bad bitch who got an ex athlete to commit to a long term relationship! Good for you girl! Please share your thoughts on the season or the finale in the comments!

A Sex and the City epiphany

   I wrote this blog post a few months ago on another blog page and have decided to update and repost here because it unfortunately has become relevant again and this problem is a reoccurring one in my life.

    As I was sitting in class a few months ago kinda-sorta listening to my professor talk about the planets and how long they take to revolve around the sun, I realized I was in the midst of a Carrie Bradshaw moment minus the expensive shoes and perfectly scripted friends. I have surrounded myself with men in the last few months, who seem so sweet and caring and just when I start to think he could be my next boyfriend… Boom! So without further introduction, my unfortunate epiphany.

   This little moment of truth that I discovered caused me to think, why do guys think it’s okay to just stop talking to someone when they decide they don’t like them anymore? And why do they think that I don’t deserve an explanation or apology? But my year continues to follow this pattern:


    To begin first semester of my junior year I had been texting a guy who I knew from back home who was friends with my ex. Sticky I know. But it was unplanned and we hit it off, so I decided to go for it. Things were going great between us and I started to go home almost every weekend because of a feud with my house mates, so we started hanging out more and more. When we finally kissed for the first time I was on cloud nine and I was never planning to come back. At the end of November we went on the cutest date ever to a little theme park in my town and we walked around, flirted and kissed all night. We walked up to this gazebo on a hill overlooking part of the park and he just kissed me and I think that was the most romantic moment of my life, I’ll never forget that. But obviously around Christmas time things took a turn for the worst. We met up on Christmas at night after I had worked and he spent the day with his family and he came to a friend’s family party with me and it was great. We ended up back at his house and we ya know, hooked up.. but I told him I wasn’t ready to have sex with him yet, and I thought he took it well but I think I was wrong. The next day we ended up getting in a huge fight and he said some really mean things and we’ve only talked once since and I never got an apology. I got over it eventually, but I still miss him some times, but I also think I miss what we had, and what I thought he represented.

   So fast forward about a month after that. I’d been “talking” (I really hate saying that but…) to a guy I met on tinder who lives near me at home, and I’m two hours away at school so we hadn’t actually gone out yet. We had plans a couple different times which he ended up ditching me for every single time, including our post valentines day date (he got mad I wouldn’t go out with him on Valentine’s Day…too cliché for me). Finally he started to ignore me for a few days straight after begging me to give him another chance and to stick around because he liked me a lot and it would be worth it. Sure buddy.
  

   The entire time I was texting him he kept fighting with me because of my friend Dave and he thought Dave wanted to hook up with me even though I did not return the feelings even if that was how Dave was feeling. After things ended with him I actually did end up hooking up with Dave a few times and no one in my friend group knows for many reasons. I left college for the summer in May and he told me any time I was back up to visit to let him know so we could get it on. So romantic, but whatever. Then a few weeks later my friend informs me that she had sex with Dave after a bar escaped while visiting for the weekend. When I confronted him about it, he said it was going to be okay because no one knows about him and I so it should just be fine.

    Okay. I eventually start forgetting about Dave hooking up with my friend. My friends and I go out in Boston, which I’ve written about and surprise, surprise I meet a new guy. Chris. We spent about three weeks texting and talking about hanging out before it actually happened. He drove down here because he’s about two hours away and we went out for drinks. It went well (I thought) and the conversation never once came to a screeching awkward halt. He was charming, cute and most importantly, tall. He pulls into my drive way and there’s an awkward hug/kiss/neither one and I said something witty and walked back into my house. He texted me to tell me he was home safe because I made him and then, I never hear from him again. Two ignored texts later and I give up and I officially deleted his number and have started to hate him and wish a nasty STD upon him.

    So anyways getting back to my point, I’m sitting in class that day and I remember the episode of SATC where Carrie bitches out Berger’s friend in a club because she got broken up with via post-it note. And here I am, finding myself in almost the same boat. Except I didn’t even get a post-it, phone call or text message… I just get ignored every time. No apologies where deserved, no goodbye, no explanations… nothing. Every time I tell myself I deserve better, and every time I don’t get it no matter how hard I try. But really the better I deserve isn’t even justice through a text, what I deserve is someone who would jump over the moon for me twice if I needed him to because I would do that for someone I cared about. Getting ignored for no visible reason is a thing of the past I hope and maybe I’ll start going for guys that care more than not answering me after the first date, or in Carrie’s case, breaking up with her via post-it note. There’s a right way to break it off with someone and so far I haven’t met one guy that knows that that is.

It’s not his loss

If I can speak for most of the single girls on the planet, which I personally think I can… I’d like to just speak for all of us when I say… I HATE when people say “it’s his loss” after someone dumps you or stops answering you randomly.

    I’ll admit that this does happen to me frequently, and almost every time it happens I have one of my friends that are happy in a relationship texting me saying “it’s his loss, you’re smart, funny and beautiful and he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Well here’s a thought. If it was his loss, and I was all of those things, why would he stop talking to me in the first place? I mean “his loss” would be if I stopped talking to him randomly and he spent days trying to figure out what HE did wrong, not the opposite.

   It’s not his loss because I’m the one laying in bed at night wondering what happened during the date that made him never want to speak to me again, or what I said to make him think I’m a complete weirdo. I mean I guess it could be his loss, because in my opinion I would make a pretty good girlfriend, or even just a good girl to take on a second date. How do you even know you hate me that much just by going on one date? I guess in that way it is his loss, but in every other aspect, I believe it is mine. You’d think that someone that all of my friends think is at a loss because they no longer have me in their life would want to keep me in their life… that makes sense, right?

    It’s my loss (this time) because I spent about 4 hours on a Friday night with someone who clearly is not interested, and couldn’t eat for about three days because I was so nervous before the date, and then so upset after that my eating habits took a dive for the worst, and those closest to me know that food is my first love. It’s also my loss because I thought once again that he could be different or the one, and it’s definitely my loss because I believed him when he said  that he was a nice guy and not one of the normal douche bags I normally waste time on. Normally when they say that, you can assume they’re the biggest douche you know, but thats a blog for another day. So I guess what I’m really trying to say here, long story short… to all you friends out there, that have found the sweetest guy out there with friends that chronically like assholes like it’s their job.. please never use the phrase “it’s his loss” because if that were true, we’d all be going on second dates.

Social media kills flirtationships

Okay, so this is where I’m at in life. I recently wrote a rant about this guy I met in Boston when I was out with my girlfriends for a birthday celebration and we’ve been texting almost everyday since. I don’t follow him on twitter or instagram (yes I’ve creeped to see if I could find them, and didn’t succeed) and I’ve found his Facebook but I’m too scared to add him,don’t ask I just am. This means I only know what he’s doing when he texts me after work and whatever else he does to tell me. Interesting concept.

Well it just crossed my mind… do you guys agree that having a flirtationship with someone is much more successful when you don’t follow each other on social media and know what the other person is doing 24/7 and who they’re doing it with? I think so now that I’ve though about it. I mean almost every guy I’ve talked to (god I hate saying that) has picked fights with me over something having to do with social media, or I spend the whole time I’m involved with them being jealous over some “I Like Babes Daily” retweet. Seriously, no one even looks like those girls in real life. And even when I’m not involved with someone, and I just have some feelings for them… seeing an Instagram post with him and some other girl really sucks, even if we only did have math class together freshman year first semester and he has no idea who I am, it’s still sad, right? No one wants a fight over who you’re out at a party with from a guy that won’t even put a title on your relationship so why do we feel the need to follow each other on every single form of social media right off the bat. I mean after the flame dies and you hate each other you’re just going to unfollow each other anyways, so might as well wait a while. In my opinion, and in almost every single person experience in this category it doesn’t ever work because of something someone writes on twitter or facebook. I once had a guy get mad at me because I was at Ihop with a guy friend.. and another one of my girlfriends, so the last thing I would want is a jealous guy stalking me. I also got broken up with (by text message) because of a facebook status when I was in high school, so it’s safe to say I’m bitter about it.

I guess maybe this might just be because I’ve dealt with crazies… but I’m curious to see if other people agree… or if I’m the only one and I need to stop dating crazy people. Lemme know!

Six ways that Tinder ruined modern dating

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Since when is snapchat a proper form of communication between two people?

I understand if you don’t want to talk to someone you met on Tinder all day everyday, but why would you snapchat someone all day but not ask for their number? It’s just weird. Meeting people should be getting to know things about them, not pictures of their dog and what they’re having for breakfast.

Having to lie about how you met.

No one ever wants to admit where they met someone from Tinder if they actually meet up and hang out, so there’s always a back story to play on (“tell your parents we met at the grocery store”?). I wasn’t around for this…. but I really think that there was a time where a guy was proud to introduce a girl to his family and friends and be seen in public with her instead of immediately coming up with a lie about how you met.

Even when you don’t have to lie about how you met, it still sounds like you’re lying.

Now that I’ve had Tinder off and on for a couple months, I feel like even when I meet a guy in my normal daily life when I’m out with friends, I have to lie because telling people you met at a bar just sounds like another Tinder cover up!

It give guys an excuse to be rude.

Just because you don’t know this girl personally and you didn’t meet her in a traditional way, does NOT mean it’s ok to ask her if she swallows. NEVER.

There’s always an implication of a hook up.

People who match on Tinder, are matched on the basis of both being attracted to each other, so naturally there’s going to be physical implications to match. A casual hook up isn’t a bad thing, however it makes it harder for those who actually want a relationship to find one because Tinder is a guys’ (and girls) one stop hookup shop.

A proper date is rare until you’re an actual couple.

Not that I have guys knocking down my door, but I’ve been single for basically my whole life, and not once have I had a boy pick me up and take me on a date. What I have had is guys wanting to come pick me up after midnight or asking for naked pictures. Please boys, take me out to dinner a few times and you could probably see my boobs in person… it’s not that hard to understand.

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Book review: The Fault in Our Stars

I know this is a little late since the movie came out last Friday, but I just finished TFIOS today (only took me a few hours) and I decided to share my opinion with those of you that have also read it, or are interested in reading it. I’m a big believer in the philosophy that the book is almost always better than the movie so I figured it was something that I had to do before seeing the film. The main character Hazel, who is played by Shailene Woodly in the film, has a beautifully sarcastic and educated voice through her narration of the book. I heard myself in some of her sarcasm and her take on the world through the eyes of a cancer patient. Not that I’ve ever struggled with the seriousness of life threatening cancer, but her character was completely relatable in the way that one young adult relates to another when an adult does not speak the language. Her first love, Augustus Waters compliments her fully and completely as they challenge each other and push each other to see the world in a new way. Loving someone so much with a time limit teaches us the reader, that in this life you never know how much time we have, but you must fall in love “slowly, and then all at once.” Augustus is afraid of oblivion and Hazel is afraid of anonymity, and together, I believe at least that they tackle these fears together. I completely enjoyed this book (obviously, because I read it in less than a day) and it’s a great message for anyone that reads it. Even if you have already seen the movie, I highly recommend the  book to anyone who enjoyed the movie, or reading in general. Please let me know what you thought of the book, and the movie too!