Starting my Year of You Journey

For those of you asking yourselves “what is Year of You”?  I have your answer. It’s really about bettering yourself and making what you need to be. Year of You was started by a youtuber named Marissa Lacer, or “MarissaLace” on youtube when she was going through a bad breakup and she felt she had lost herself in 2015. In 2016 she really focused on herself and what she needed and encouraged her followers to do the same.

At the beginning of 2016, I was a personal sales business owner and was convinced that it was finally going to be ‘my year’. I was finally going to make some money and build my savings, I was going to get great grades, get skinny, and maybe even find love. For a while, I was making good money in my business and was doing well for myself (except for the fact that I know nothing about managing money and running a business), I did have a health kick that last a whole week, and I thought I did- or had the potential to find love.

Eventually, I hit a wall with my business and now looking back about a year ago, I was suffering from anxiety and I let it get the better of my and my business and by summer 2016 I was inactive with the company. Anxiety also got the better of me with my school work and I found myself not being able to focus in school and shutting down every time I had a large assignment due. This caused me to end up on academic probation and would cause further damage down the road.

I started dating during the winter of 2016 and had been going on different dates with a few unspecial guys. One guy in particular seemed to stand out to me and we started spending more and more time together. Eventually a couple of unspecial guys turned into one special guy and I was falling fast. We dated for a few weeks until he finally told me he had been calling me his girlfriend to his friends and I was shocked. That had never happened to me, and I was enamored. We were together practically every minute that we weren’t working or when I wasn’t in school. We met each other’s friends and parents and things seemed good – until they weren’t. One day he brought up over text that he would be too busy in the fall and wouldn’t really have time to see me. I argued that I also would be busy but we could carve out time to see each other at least once a week, as I have weekends off. He insisted and that was the end. I was so broken over this quick little relationship I had, but for the first time in basically forever I had someone that cared about me and called me beautiful and wanted to spend all of his time with me. I realized after we broke up that I completely lost myself because I boy decided he didn’t want to date me anymore and I absolutely hated that. I don’t want to be the girl that falls apart because of a boy, yes it happens, and yes it’s okay, but to lose myself and feel so down on myself because of it scared the sh** out of me. So at the beginning of 2017 I got a sign and Marissa started a facebook group for other girls that also wanted to change their lives and focus on them. The posts have been uplifting and have inspired me to be the best version of myself.

I’m not going to lie. I think 2016 was the worst year of my life.2017 hasn’t actually started off too great either but I’ve found a supportive group of people through Marissa’s Year of you movement and I’m taking time for myself and focusing on myself and it’s exactly what I need right now. More year of you posts to come – let me know what you think!

xox Erica

 

Letter to a Lost Friend

For so long I had you on my side and you were a person that I could run to for any reason at any time. Through one of the hardest years of my life, you were there and in return I was there for you. I always had your back and almost every time I looked behind me, you had mine too. Having you on my side sometimes felt like I could conquer anything or anyone. I don’t think you know how it felt to have you as a person that I could always call and cry to, because I didn’t know until it was gone.

I understand that life takes us many place and sometimes we can’t always take all of our belongings with us. I understand that sometimes having less real friends is better than having several fake ones. I understand that maybe our journeys may have taken us elsewhere in this life, but I always wanted you to come with me. I always wanted to have you on my team and I wanted to root for you in your accomplishments and be by your side for the failures. I wanted you standing next to me at my wedding, laughing and joking about the times when I said I’d never find love. My hope was to celebrate graduation and our accomplishments together, leaving college with a friendship stronger than before. We left our bubble and saw new things and met new people, and I had hoped that our paths would cross again. I looked forward to the days when we would be reunited on your porch, having late night heart to hearts that I could only have with you. You really knew what it looked like from my shoes.

Maybe my friendship was too much for you, I wonder. Maybe I took more from you than you did from me. I can’t help but think that I drove you away, maybe I was too needy. Anyway, if that’s the case, I’d like to say sorry. I’m sorry I kept taking from you. I’m sorry if you felt that this was a one way street and I was gaining more than you. I want you to know that I was behind you 100% and always on your side. I’m sorry if I didn’t make this clear to you through my actions and words. I’d like to think that maybe I didn’t drive you away, but this was a growing process and I just didn’t make the cut. I’d take that over screwing up our friendship any day. I’d like to thank you for our time together and I hope that someday life brings us together again.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss you, and on occasion want to pick up the phone and call you. I’d like you to know that wherever you may be, one day, when the urge hits you to call me to say hello, how are you that you are more than welcome. To me, it’s not about the time that passes, but the strength of the friendship. There are not many people in my life who I regret losing, but you really are one of them. The loss of you as a friend has impacted me greater than I ever could have imagined, and I want you to know that you are welcome back in my life whenever you need me.

2015;

2015 was a great year over all and I have a lot to be thankful as I get ready to enter 2016. I had a great senior year as a prepared to leave my second home at my small little university where I made life long friendships. Along with many crazy experiences during senior year, I got to take a cruise with some of my best friends for spring break and saw lovely islands I’ve never experienced before and had such a great time! Senior week was filled with booze, friends, and memories. I couldn’t have asked for a better ending to my college career.

This summer also brought change to my family. My oldest cousin got married this summer and her brother is expecting a baby with his wife in the spring. My younger cousin is starting college and her older brother is graduating from college this year. I can’t wait to see what this year does for my family as well.

After much struggle and tribulation, I was accepted to all three of the grad schools I applied to and chose a small little school just for psychology just a little south of Boston. I’m so happy there and met a great group of friends that have been a great support to me through the first steps of this journey. Through school I got an internship working with kids at an in home therapy agency that I love and am gaining first-hand experience at.

I’ve had my heart broken and learned lessons and I’m grateful for all of it. 2016 will bring me one year closer to achieving my dreams and will hopefully also bring positive change for me. I’m hoping to get out of my comfort zone a little bit this year and maybe make some changes for myself. Maybe even keep up with this blog!

I can’t wait to see what happens in 2016!

Hey guys!

Just wanted to say hi and give a quick update about things going on here, and I’ve been writing down ideas for blogs all summer so after this I’m hoping to jump back into ‘single girl problem’ blogs again! I just got a computer today so I’m hoping to start writing more often than I was, which was basically never, so I’m sorry about that if you actually like reading what I have to say.

Just a quick update on me though, I’ll be starting grad school in the fall (like two weeks from now) and I’ve been working at a behavioral school this entire summer and it’s interesting to say the least. But with that being said, there’s some stuff I’ll be writing about later having to do with some male co workers of mine.. but more on that later. Can’t wait to get you guys some new blogs soon! xoxo

Thankfulness

Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I was doing some thinking about the people and things I’m thankful for this year even though I’m thankful everyday. First of all, I’m thankful for my parents and all of their support through my life. They have always been the most supportive people I know and they just want me to do the best I can do and be happy with the choices I make and the directions I go and that’s all I can ask. I’m happy they continue to support me every now and then when it comes to being away at school and not being able to afford everything on my own, because it’s such a generous thing for them to do for me even when I live on my own at school. I’m also happy for their good health, because last year we found out my mom had breast cancer and she has beat it, and also spent time in the hospital this summer and had surgery on her colon and I’m grateful that today she is doing well and her health seems to be in a better spot now. I could also not be thankful enough for my friends because they are the best I could ask for. Most of my friends from home have been my friend since elementary and middle school and that in itself is something to be happy about, but I am also happy that my friendships with them today are still strong and we always pick up where we left off, even if I don’t talk to them for days or weeks at a time. My friends I have made away at school are also the best because I have gotten so close to them since last year when I had a bad experience with roommate drama and they gave me a place to go when I felt uncomfortable being in my own house. I have also made so many new friendships within the last year with people I now call some of my best friends. The friends I have from my freshman year of college are still some of the best friends I have made during my college career and I’m so happy I have kept in touch with them despite what happened with my roommates last year. This time of the year I especially like to stop and think about the things I have in my life to be happy about because this is when people start asking for gifts and forgetting what’s important, myself included. Not only that, but it’s a good time to reflect on the year I have had, and I think so far 2014 may have been one of the best years of my life, despite all of the drama I went through last semester, it taught me important lessons about life and friendships and how to be a more positive person. I hope going in to 2015 is just as successful, and I wish everyone a happy holiday and an even happier new year. Feel free to tell me what you’re thankful for! ❤

Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS

So I’m sure a lot of you have heard of the Ice Bucket challenge to raise money and awareness for ALS, but if not you can watch the video here. I got challenged last night by a friend from school and made a video tonight (because I hadn’t been on facebook until today). I would like to share the video with you guys and hopefully I can help raise awareness through my small foundation of readers. I have also chosen to donate along with the ice bucket challenge and I have a link to the ALS Association so you can donate too if you’re up for the challenge!

 

see my video here!

and you can donate to ALS right here 🙂

Changes.

I’ve been thinking about the changes that are happening in my life as I grow up, and worse, as my friends and family grow up around me. One of my oldest and best friends graduated from college recently and I just went to her grad party last night, and my “little” brother graduated from high school today so I’m feeling a bit old today. It just seems that as you get older there’s more expectation from family and friends to know exactly what you’re doing in life at every step of the way. Of course my friend’s family wanted to know what her next step was and she’s still waiting to get certified so she can get a nursing job so she’s waitressing for the summer and has no idea where she’s going to end up in the future. Now that I am nearing my senior year of college, I find myself thinking about grad school and my “adult” life a lot; where am I going to grad school? what program will I choose? Where will I work while I go to school? Will living at home with my parents again kill me? I think about it constantly and I feel like it was just the other day when I got my undergrad acceptances in the mail. It’s crazy to think how quickly life really does move, and you don’t even notice until these moments are over. I’m cherishing every last one until my brother leaves for his first year of  college in the fall, I begin my senior year, my friends get real jobs and life begins for real. Take it in and be happy for what you have in the moment, because before you know it… everything is different.

He’s just not that into you?

As we see in story books and Disney movies as children, rom-coms as young adults and in our friends lives as we leave our 20’s and enter the forbidden world of being 30, love stories are all around us. As the story goes, boy meets girl, girl doesn’t like boy at first, boy wins her over and saves the day and proposes and the happy couple ride off into the sunset. But we know that never happens to us, just to our friends and family and we attend the wedding reluctantly and sit at the kids table with your younger cousins because you couldn’t get a date. What really happens is we meet a guy at the bar, hit it off, or so we think(?) and he may or may not ask for your number before last call and you may or may not hear from him again after you step out the door. If you are lucky enough for the cute boy you hit it off with to ask for your number, you spend the next few days waiting for him to text you first and when he does finally text it’s short and awkward and he makes you provide topics to keep conversation flowing. If he happens to have a full time job (personal experience) you spend the entire day hoping that every “ding!” of a text is him and when it’s your mom you get super disappointed. I don’t get it personally. I mean if you kiss a stranger in a bar and leave with his number and the possibility of a date in the future what do you have to keep waiting around for him to actually make plans, or even text you for longer than ten minutes.
I’ve been actually texting a guy off and on that I met at the bar last weekend and it seems to me that A) he works a lot and doesn’t have much time to text B) he ignores my texts all day until he has no one better to talk to C) he’s not REALLY interested or D) he has a girlfriend. Now why should I be sitting here questioning myself worth over a man that doesn’t even know anything about me? I think it’s time that we stop waiting for the perfect fairy tale to occur every time we meet someone new and face the fact that not every guy you meet is going to be your next Prince Charming.  When the time comes, hopefully he won’t be the one to make you wait around for a text all day, but instead will be the one wanting to hang out with you as soon as possible to get to know you in person! The fairy tale ends here, ladies, and now we need to date with a sense of reality because unfortunately, we are not Cinderella.

Hey guys!

Hello everyone!

I’m Erica and I’m newly stepping onto the blogging scene and have been trying it out since about Feb. of this year. I always think of funny things that happen to me in my daily life that could make for a funny book, so for now I’m settling for a blog. Hope you enjoy it, I mean I’ll settle for someone reading it. Leave comments and suggestions!