I’ve personally had my share of creepy/ strange gentlemen callers in my day with very little to be said about the type of guy that shows affection in a normal way. Most of the time when someone “likes” me they are really pretending to see how long it takes them to get in my pants before they have to stop being nice to me. With that being said, I’ve had this guy Ben texting me for the last three weeks or so since we sat next to each other at the bar where one of my friends bar tends on Sunday nights (the fact that I go to the bar on Sunday nights is another story for another day!) Ben was constantly complimenting me and asking to hang out so I got the idea that he liked me, but since he never said it I didn’t want to be one to assume things and make myself look like an ass. Because I have this policy, I didn’t want to tell him that I did not reciprocate his feelings toward me and that I wanted to be ‘just friends’. So earlier this week he asked me if I’d go to dinner with him and being the awkward person that I am, said yes, but planned to just have him come hang out with the rest of my friends when the time came. He ended up coming over Thursday night because we had a few girl friends over to watch tv and gossip and one of my guy friends (who knows Ben) joined us later on in the night which was perfect for me to avoid being alone with Ben. My plan was going smoothly, until about 2am when my guy friend went home and Ben did not follow. This left me and him alone because I was still up doing homework and couldn’t escape to my bed right away. When I was done with my homework I tried to quickly clean up and get to bed as soon as possible but he pulled me on top of him and basically forced a make out sess upon me (not in a rapey way… just not what I wanted). After a few minutes of trying to convince him to stop hugging and kissing me and telling him to leave, he reluctantly left, but also not before asking to sleep over… that was a clear no.
So Friday came around (yesterday) and he texted me somewhere around mid-afternoon and I gave him plain answers and there was a silence between us for a couple of hours. He texted later in the night to ask where I was going and what my plan was so I told him I’d be at the bar we go to across the street from school because he’d probably show up there anyways and at least at the bar there would be witnesses. I ran into my old RA and spent some time talking to him while Ben stared creepily across the bar without coming over like a normal person would. He kept asking my friends if he had done something wrong, and he had. I wouldn’t expect my friends to get in the middle of this, so I’m glad they didn’t tell them I was angry that he basically gave me no choice but to kiss him, but what made me mad was that he asked everyone except me. I would hope that if someone had feelings for me they’d see I was upset or acting weird and come up to me and talk. He did not do this. He also waited until I left the bar and at about 2:30 this morning he texted me asking if he did something wrong. I had no choice but to tell him the truth, that I do not have feelings for him the way he has feelings for me and I did it as nicely as possible because he has been nice to me and up until our kiss I had no problems with him except that I did not think of him as more than a friend. Maybe I should have said something sooner, but I also wasn’t leading him on. I purposely didn’t go on a date with him because I knew it would give him the wrong idea, but you also shouldn’t force someone to kiss you, especially if they’re giving no indication that they want to kiss you. Anyways, after I sent this nicely worded let down text, I got no answer. Today when I woke up I had no answer. As I sit here, I still have no answer. I mean I guess I wouldn’t have much to say if someone as great as me broke my heart (ha! I’m kidding) but it would be nice of him to respond saying okay I understand thank you for telling me the truth. The point to the story: ladies always tell the truth right away if you don’t like someone, and men, don’t force girls to kiss you and then stare at them at the bar while they talk to their friends.